Campfires, ghost stories-- summer vacations are the best!

The Baby-sitters Club Super Special #8: Baby-sitters at Shadow Lake

Good God, y’all. I know it’s been a while, but a lot has been happening in my life since I last abandoned you. I finished grad school. I attended my college reunion. I cheered on more friends than I care to count as they took the next steps that so far continue to elude moi: weddings, babies, book contracts, home ownership, laser eye surgery. I knew I had to do something, so here it is: I moved halfway across the country to take a new job, one where I am not disrespected and mistreated on a daily basis. I pulled a Stacey McGill (Original recipe and version 3.0)—I woke up one day and found myself leaving behind my comfortable, New York City life—a life of brunch and bridges and Broadway—and venturing back into Tinytown, USA, a world of SUVs and Applebee’s and carefully cultivated elm trees. I live in the Midwest again. Please don’t hate me.

The Tinytown library is a lot different from the NYPL and it contains very few BSC books. Plus, it took several months for me to work up the courage to venture inside. The people there… talk to you. It’s very awkward, if you believe, like me, that libraries, and indeed most public spaces, should be spaces of silence. They’re… friendly. It’s weird. Check-out lady, I don’t know you from Adam. I don’t need your views on the county fair. They’re… kind of slow and inefficient. (Must be all that talking.)

So, yeah, I’m pretty sure I’m known around here as “That bitch from New York.” But you know what? I’m okay with that label, because I’m pretty sure a certain Ms. Stacey McGill was also known by that moniker. Of course, lucky duck that she was, she eventually got to return.

Okay then! All that said, we’re diving back in with Super Special #8: Baby-sitters at Shadow Lake. I have reread this one many times. It’s long been one of my favorites, but until this read-through, I never took the time to pinpoint exactly why. It’s got all sorts of great stuff: sappy Stacey/Sam (Stam? Samcey?) moments, everyone treating Mallory like the dipshit she is, Dawn freaking out about ghosts, and minimal Mary Freakin’ Anne. Most importantly, everyone in this book is hysterically bitchy to each other. It’s phenomenal.

So Watson gets a letter from his ostensibly long-lost aunt and uncle with whom he used to spend summers at their cabin on Shadow Lake. Right off the bat I think there’s something weird about this, because the aunt (whose letter is written out as a prologue, and may I just say, she has lovely handwriting.) is all “Your uncle and I hope to meet Karen, Andrew, your new wife, and her children… We want to see what the boy we remember has become.” Well Aunt Faith, for starters, he’s become a millionaire. But if he’s that important to you, why haven’t you seen him since he was twelve? Were you not at either of his weddings? You only live in Pennsylvania, and you don’t seem to be particularly infirm, even if you are re-evaluating your will. Anyway, this is another example of me getting hung up on the first two pages of the book when there’s so much more goodness to come, so long story short: Aunt Faith and Uncle Pierson want to leave Watson their summer cabin on Shadow Lake in the mountains of western Massachusetts  (there are mountains in Massachusetts? My geography knowledge is further evidence of the decline of America’s schools) when they die, but only if he wants it. They suggest that he take his family on a vacation there to see if they like it.

So Watson not only takes his family, but 10 of his children’s nearest and dearest friends, including all six BSC-ers and 2 friends each for David Michael and The Insufferable Karen Brewer.  Luckily, this cabin sleeps 20-some people.

Dawn thought having a sister was going to be fun. Was she ever wrong!

The Baby-sitters Club #31: Dawn's Wicked Stepsister

Ugh to the nth degree, Dawn. I feel for you. If I had to live with Richard, Mary Anne, and freakin' Tigger, I think I'd have fled to the West Coast far sooner than you did. Shall we examine why?

We open at the glorious nuptials of Richard and Sharon. My first question is why are the majority of the people present the BSC and the Pike triplets? Don't Richard and Sharon have any friends or family? Granny and Pop-pop are present, and I believe Richard's parents have already passed on, but are they both only children? With no cousins or anything? Or longtime friends? Apparently the guest list consists of the BSC, the Pike triplets (I guess they are like Jeff's plus one (three)?), few of the not-so-happy couple's friends from work, and Sharon's parents. That is just sad. Actually, everything about this is sad. Watson and Elizabeth's wedding was so much better. Anyway, the actual wedding took place in the previous book, which I haven't read since I was about 8 years old, so I'll save any other comments so I have something to say when I finally get around to reading it. I will simply note that this book opens with the throwing of Sharon's bouquet, which Dawn really wants to catch because she thinks she deserves it as the daughter of the bride. Ugh. Give it 15 years, Dawn, and you will be desperately hiding at the bar at your cousin's wedding while your drunk Aunt Millie steals the DJs mic so she can call you out by name to gather round with the middle schoolers who are the only other single women at the wedding, and instruct your cousin to aim the bouquet directly at you, because you are "not getting any younger." And people wonder why I drink.

But it turns out MA catches the bouquet, beating everyone down in the process (SERIOUSLY. At what wedding does anyone actually want to catch the bouquet? At every wedding I go to, everyone just stands there and lets the damn thing fall on the floor, until one of the bridesmaids finally takes one for the team and throws herself on the grenade.) Whatever. I'm all worked up over this, and it's only like the first two pages of the book.

Who wouldn't want Claudia for a baby-sitter?

The Baby-sitters Club #56: Keep Out, Claudia!

You always know you're in for a treat when the BSC title includes its own exclamation point. Am I right or am I right? I totally remembered this book from my childhood, partly because I couldn't pronounce the word “prejudice”, which is used like 27 hundred times. I was actually pretty pleased with the handling of the main plotline here, but I could totally have done without the entire secondary plot, partly because it showcased one of my (many) BSC nemeses: the intolerable Jackie Rodowsky. Not to mention the insufferable Karen Brewer. Ugh. But we will get to that. All in good time, my friends.

New client alert (but don't get too attached. I'm 95% sure we never hear of these folks again, though with good reason.) Mrs. Denise Lowell requires a sitter for her 3 children: Caitlin, Mackie, and Celeste. Um, can I be prejudiced against Mrs. Lowell for naming her son “Mackie”? Mary Anne is the first unsuspecting soul to baby-sit for this fam. Mrs. Lowell gives her the once-over on the front stoop and deems her worthy. The kids are well-behaved, but inquisitive, asking MA all about her family and the other BSC members. When they hear about Mal's seven siblings, they decide the Pikes must be Catholic. I definitely remember that from my childhood reading of this book, because I was (and am) Catholic, but I had never heard that stereotype before. I knew plenty of people with big families, but it never occurred to me that their religion would have something to do with it. Also, isn't it a little weird for an 8 year old to know that? I mean, isn't that one of those wink-wink things people say because Catholics are technically not supposed to use birth-control? Does 8 year old Caitlin know that? Because that sort of skeeves me out.

Who's the boss?

The Baby-sitters Club # 122: Kristy in Charge

Since I've been recapping the BSC, I've definitely not been impressed by the later BSC books. Partly, I think because I've never read them before and therefore don't have the memories associated with them, and partly because, I think we can all agree, they are objectively horrific. That said, this is the book that starts the whole "Getting Rid of Mallory" arc, and frankly, that covers a multitude of sins. Also, the title of this post is so appropriate because my dear friend Jess has recently gotten me hooked on Who's the Boss reruns. Seriously that show is amazing. Highly recommend! So let's see what we can do with this, mmmkay?

So we open with Kristy in homeroom, listening to Ms. Garcia talk about some new program called "Teachers of Tomorrow" where students can volunteer to teach classes at SMS for a week. Is it just me, or is this a patently stupid idea? I mean, I get the idea behind it, and in a perfect world, it could be interesting and educational. But people? Junior High is FAR FROM a perfect world. And no one knows that better than the teachers. Why would any of them agree to this?

Tigger, come home!

The Baby-sitters Club #25: Mary Anne and the Search for Tigger

I know I’ve made it clear before that I’m not an animal person, so I’m just going to assume that losing a cat is this traumatic. Because sweet Peaches, the way MA carries on, you’d think she just lost her only remaining parent. Although actually, considering that parent is Richard, she probably wouldn’t care that much.

So MA is totally obsessed with her cat, and I think we can all see foreshadowing of her future as a crazy spinster cat lady once Logan finally comes out of the closet his sophomore year of college. She lets him (Tigger, not Logan) play outside one Friday afternoon while she goes to a BSC meeting, then comes home and can’t find him. Quelle horror! She freaks out and runs all over the house looking for him, then Richard comes home and indulges her paranoia for a few minutes by helping her look outside with flashlights (really? They need flashlights at 6:30 pm at a time of year when it’s warm enough in Connecticut to ride bikes and sit outside all afternoon? I call bullshit. Also, even if it is dark, don’t they have outdoor lighting and streetlights? Are “torches that could light up New York City” really necessary? No.) Finally Richard is all “MA, I don’t care about your cat anymore. Get inside and fix me dinner.” Except not in so many words. He’s just like “I’m sure the kitten is fine. He’s been missing for less than 2 hours. Back to your lives, citizens.”