Can Mary Anne fix a feud between friends?

The Baby-sitters Club #125: Mary Anne in the Middle

Now here I am approaching uncharted waters. I never read much BSC above probably the 70s as a kid. If I recall correctly, by the time Dawn moved back to California, I was pretty much over it. The last book I vaguely remember reading as a kid was the one where the annoying new girl, Abby, was introduced (so just taking a wild stab in the dark here, but I think it was #90, Welcome to the BSC, Abby!) and even at that point, I remember feeling way too old for it and telling everyone I was reading it in an ironic fashion, because my friend Emily had read it and lent it to me because even though we were far too old for these books (we were like, 12 or something, but we had high opinions of ourselves), but Emily's Aunt Barbara kept sending them to her as gifts, and well, it would be rude of us not to at least read them, right?

So apparently, life at Stoneybrook Middle School has just become unbearable for Mallory Pike. People call her Spaz Girl (boy, SMS students are pretty hard-hitting with the insults, huh?) and write mean things on her locker and purposely bump into her in the hall. So Mal decides that perhaps she needs to go off to boarding school to "find herself" at the age of 11. The BSC is not so keen on that idea, but no one says anything. I think we're supposed to believe that they don't say anything because they don't want to influence her decision and want her to do what's right for her (a party line towed by her tutti-frutti parents as part of their "WOO! NO RULES!" child-raising philosophy) but I think secretly the BSC is just excited that if she goes, they won't have to listen to her whine anymore... Or am I projecting my own feelings on them? Oh well.

So Mal gets accepted to this school in Massachusetts called Riverbend Academy. And you know what I just thought of? Wouldn't it be hilarious if Mal's new boarding school turned out to be like the one that Jenny Humphrey goes to in that Gossip Girl spin-off, the It Girl? Because that school is full of back-stabbing, boyfriend-stealing, not-afraid-to-burn-down-a-barn-while-most-classmates-are-inside-having-an-illegal-party-and-then-blame-it-on-someone-else types, and I would love to see Mal flounder there. I bet being Spaz Girl back at SMS would sound pretty damn good! Anyway, so Mal is accepted to Riverbend and decides pretty quickly that she wants to go, even though for some odd reason her siblings don't want her to. Um, at the very least, Vanessa? She leaves, you get your own room! Dumbass, you should be packing her suitcases for her.

Mal talks to Mary Anne about all of this instead of Jessi, her alleged best friend. Mary Anne is the first one she tells about her decision to go away and the only she talks to about her fears regarding leaving. Jessi is pissed. Why isn't Mal talking to her best friend? They fight for like two weeks, despite Mary Anne's repeated attempts to get them to talk to each other. They also treat Mary Anne like crap, calling her at the crack of dawn to complain about each other, and using her in the typical and oh-so-annoying "Mary Anne, tell Jessi that I think she's a big doody-head" way. But Mary Anne is a doormat, so of course she's just all "I just want everyone to get along! This is just how I felt when Dawn left and if we hadn't made up before she went to CA, I don't think we'd be friends at all now!" To which I say, then you must not have been such great friends in the first place.

Finally, Mary Anne drags Jessi and Mal over to her house and basically locks them in the room together until they air their issues, which essentially boil down to: Jessi doesn't want to lose Mal and thinks that Mal doesn't care about their friendship because she's leaving so cavalierly, and Mal thinks it hurts to much to consider that she's leaving Jessi and she can't talk to her about it because of the deep pain it causes. Yeah, okay, whatever. It's boarding school in a neighboring state, she's not shipping out to Afghanistan. Was I this overdramatic as a teenager? (According to everyone who knew me then, yes. And apparently, I still am.) So they cry and hug and are friends again, and Mary Anne cries of course, because she's Mary Anne.

And the book ends with Mary Anne talking to the other Pike kids about how they're treating Mallory poorly and making her feel really bad about leaving, so they magically change their tune and start making cards for her and writing her ridiculous poems about how much they'll miss her, instead of Vanessa's previous (and I thought, much better) poem wishing Mal good riddance. Also, the BSC throws a special Mallory appreciation day where they all talk about how much they love Mal and do all the things that she loves the most and wow, Mal is pretty much an attention whore, huh?

Conclusion: Not as bad as I was expecting. Some of the writing and plot development was pretty lame, but it had flashes of the old BSC. Plus, what's not to love about a book that ships Mallory off to a neighboring state to pester them with her whining?

Adios, Mallory! Don't let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!

(oh, damn. I just realized book #126 is called "The All-New Mallory Pike". Like a bad penny, she just won't leave me alone. Here's hoping she's "All-New" because she had a personality transplant!)