Nobody's going to tell Kristy what to do-- especially not the Snobs!

The Baby-Sitters Club #11: Kristy and the Snobs

This is another old favorite. Not sure if it has anything to do with the story or the fact that it introduces the awesomely snarky Shannon Kilbourne and The Fabulous Amanda Delaney and her $400 cat, Priscilla,, or the fact that I just always really liked the super-preppy pleated skirt/sweater vest combos worn by Shannon and Amanda on the front cover. All the stuff with Louie in this book is actually really sad, even though I have a heart of stone. And also, if you really think about it, the life of the Thomas kids is kind of sad… so much change in such a short time—Elizabeth remarrying, gaining Watson, Karen (ugh), and Andrew as family members, moving across town, adjusting to new wealth (not that I’d mind that), and now their dog, one of the last few connections to their previous life, having to be put down. I am shocked they’re as well-adjusted as they are… one of them is going to come unhinged at some point (my money’s on Kristy.)

Also, a few life updates of my own! I have moved (yes, again) to a location much further south than I’ve ever lived, although I’m told this “Isn’t really the South.” Whatever. People call me ma’am and dress up for college football games. It’s the South. It’s nice to be back in an actual city-- a city 1/25th the size of my beloved NYC, but none the less, a city with more than one grocery store, coffee shop, and restaurant, and one in which the possibility of actually meeting a nice single man around my age with all his teeth and no children yet at least seems mildly feasible. I don’t ask for a lot, people.

Anyway, back in Stoneybrook, KT and the Thomas clan have slowly adjusted to life in the mansion, but as school starts again, Kristy finds herself having run-ins with the local tweens (who apparently were all away at camp all summer. Kristy would “kill” her mom if she ever sent her to camp… Conveniently forgetting the forthcoming “Summer Vacation” set-up!) Anyway, if there’s one thing Kristy hates, it’s a snob. Also, squirrels. She does not explain that little aside, but I feel like there’s a story there. As if, perhaps, one time in college Kristy was studying outside on the quad with some friends and a squirrel actually ran onto her blanket and stole the bag of cookies they were eating, causing significant shrieking and general consternation, and also leaving them snack-less. Little bastard. Not that I know anyone to whom that has happened…

So, Kristy’s first encounter with Shannon comes while waiting at the bus stop, when Shannon and her friends are whispering and looking at Kristy and generally being middle-school-aged girls. They ask Kristy if she’s “Mr. Brewer’s new kid” who’s been sending around baby-sitting fliers and she takes offense and there’s some typical 8th-grade back and forth and the encounter ends with Kristy being called “Jerkface” and Shannon being called “Snob” and me pouring another glass of wine.

Why can't everyone live like this?

The Baby-sitters Club #39: Poor Mallory!
Ah, yes, another ridiculous Mallory book about labor relations. Except this time, she deals with lay-offs and poor money management, instead of going on freaking strike because her parents expect her to help out around the house.

We open with Mallory giving like a 3 page discourse on use of the word “dibble” which is obviously the dumbest word ever. It’s like “Stop trying to make “fetch” happen, Karen” (tm Regina George). Dibble this, Mallory.

So Mr. Pike, the corporate lawyer, gets laid off. I’m just calling it like it is. This whole book they make a huge deal about him being “fired” so I’m just going to state here and now that he is NOT fired. He is laid off. He gets a pink-slip. It’s cutbacks. He’s let go. Fired would be if he f-ed up a big account then told his boss to f-off (which is something I personally dream about on a daily basis. I mean for me, not for Mr. P.) His company is downsizing. They let a ton of people go all in one day. THAT’S NOT FIRING. God, Ann M. Get it together. Given how many people I know these days who’ve been both fired and laid off, I think I know the difference.

Anyway, the Pikes, all 10 of them, pretty flip their shit at this development. I mean, it’s not great news or anything, but come on. It’s not the end of the world, unless the Pikes are as irresponsible with their money as they are with their parenting. They do seem to spend and awful lot of money on vacations and multiple baby-sitters. That first night, after Mr. P. makes the announcement, the Pike parents enumerate the austerity measures they will be implementing (unlike students in London, the Pike children do not riot) including no extras, no new clothes, no junk food, no allowances. One of the kids is like “Should we even be eating dinner?” Geez Oh freakin’ Pete, way to scare the shit out of your kids, Pike parents. How about take it down a few notches, okay geniuses?

The Pike kids form the “Pike Club” to discuss their family’s situation. The Pike Club is full of idiots.

This is going to be one long night!

The Baby-sitters Club #44: Dawn and the Big Sleepover

Oh, I used to love having pen pals. They were like the blogs of my youth. If I could go back and read all the tortured heartache I poured out to other girls in far off exotic places like, well, New Jersey... I'm sure I'd just be humiliated at what a loser I was back then. I must have run through at least 10 pen pals in my youth, acquired through school projects, summer camp bonding, and the back of this creepy Catholic kids magazine my grandma used to give us. None of them ever really stuck, but I still have most of their letters. I just wish I had mine too, because I have a feeling the back and forth would be pretty hysterical to read now.

Well, Stoneybrook Elementary has paired up with a school on a Zuni reservation in New Mexico, and I'm slightly embarassed to admit that I had to Google it, but yes, that is a real tribe. I wonder how they feel about being used as a fundraising object by a bunch of snotty East Coast kids? Anyway, SES and this Zuni elementary are sister schools, which mainly seems to involve having the kids write letters back and forth. All the SES kids love it, which, I totally understand because it is super-fun to get notes from other people, even when you are old and live far from all your friends and family and check your Facebook page 27 times a day for comments that never seem to come not that I know anyone who does that.

Ahem. Moving on...

Someone--or something-- is out to get Jessi!

The Baby-sitters Club #42: Jessi and the Dance School Phantom

I like puzzles, a lot. My brain just works that way. I think it’s natural then, that I like mysteries. I really do. I like trying to figure things out from clues dropped along the way. I like that “Aha!” moment. I’d like to have been a detective, except I’m pretty sure that I’d die somewhere in the middle of my first case because intellectually, I’m a pretty good problem solver, but when it comes to common sense on the ground, or even just outrunning a bad guy, I’m toast.

Jessi, apparently, is a lot like me, a sentence I never thought I’d write, considering I am neither a dancer nor black, and Jessi is one-dimensionally defined by these two traits. However, we’re not exactly the same, because this is a BSC book, so of course, despite her lack of skill and cunning, she’s not toast. Unfortunately.

Also, this is another one where the tagline on the front bears no resemblance to the story between the covers. Someone or something? Never, at any point in the story, does Jessi or anyone else think that something other-worldly is going on. Not even Dawn. So really, jacket writer, YOU LOSE.