The Baby-sitters Club #31: Dawn's Wicked Stepsister
Ugh to the nth degree, Dawn. I feel for you. If I had to live with Richard, Mary Anne, and freakin' Tigger, I think I'd have fled to the West Coast far sooner than you did. Shall we examine why?
We open at the glorious nuptials of Richard and Sharon. My first question is why are the majority of the people present the BSC and the Pike triplets? Don't Richard and Sharon have any friends or family? Granny and Pop-pop are present, and I believe Richard's parents have already passed on, but are they both only children? With no cousins or anything? Or longtime friends? Apparently the guest list consists of the BSC, the Pike triplets (I guess they are like Jeff's plus one (three)?), few of the not-so-happy couple's friends from work, and Sharon's parents. That is just sad. Actually, everything about this is sad. Watson and Elizabeth's wedding was so much better. Anyway, the actual wedding took place in the previous book, which I haven't read since I was about 8 years old, so I'll save any other comments so I have something to say when I finally get around to reading it. I will simply note that this book opens with the throwing of Sharon's bouquet, which Dawn really wants to catch because she thinks she deserves it as the daughter of the bride. Ugh. Give it 15 years, Dawn, and you will be desperately hiding at the bar at your cousin's wedding while your drunk Aunt Millie steals the DJs mic so she can call you out by name to gather round with the middle schoolers who are the only other single women at the wedding, and instruct your cousin to aim the bouquet directly at you, because you are "not getting any younger." And people wonder why I drink.
But it turns out MA catches the bouquet, beating everyone down in the process (SERIOUSLY. At what wedding does anyone actually want to catch the bouquet? At every wedding I go to, everyone just stands there and lets the damn thing fall on the floor, until one of the bridesmaids finally takes one for the team and throws herself on the grenade.) Whatever. I'm all worked up over this, and it's only like the first two pages of the book.
Showing posts with label Jeff Schafer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeff Schafer. Show all posts
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Dawn's a California Girl!
The Baby-sitters Club #23: Dawn on the Coast
Well, no shit, Sherlock. We all know Dawn's a California girl. And we love her for it. (At least, I do. All my ideas about California were given to me by Dawn (and in college, by the O.C.) As far as I'm concerned, California is entirely populated by sun-worshiping, beach-loving, health-food-eating, environmentally-conscious, house-with-skylights-having blondes.)
It's spring break (a full two-weeks! Who ever got a full two weeks for Spring Break??? We were lucky to get a week. AND they'd always try to lump our Spring Break in with Easter Break... so annoying! Silly Catholic schools.) and Dawn is off to California to visit her dad and Jeff. Yay, Jeff! But she can't possibly leave without a BSC sleepover to see her off, so they all gather at Kristy's.
Well, no shit, Sherlock. We all know Dawn's a California girl. And we love her for it. (At least, I do. All my ideas about California were given to me by Dawn (and in college, by the O.C.) As far as I'm concerned, California is entirely populated by sun-worshiping, beach-loving, health-food-eating, environmentally-conscious, house-with-skylights-having blondes.)
It's spring break (a full two-weeks! Who ever got a full two weeks for Spring Break??? We were lucky to get a week. AND they'd always try to lump our Spring Break in with Easter Break... so annoying! Silly Catholic schools.) and Dawn is off to California to visit her dad and Jeff. Yay, Jeff! But she can't possibly leave without a BSC sleepover to see her off, so they all gather at Kristy's.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
They wish they all could be...
The Baby-sitters Club Super Special #5: California Girls!
So in honor of today's delightful weather (almost 60 degrees! Almost May! Way to be global warming! Oh, wait. Not.)let's travel with the girls as they visit California, someplace I've, sadly, never been.
So the BSC has won 10 grand on a lottery ticket, and apparently, there are no taxes in the state of Connecticut, so that works out to $1428.57 each, according to Dawn. They have one of their never-explained random two-week breaks from school, and decide to blow their wad on a trip out to Cali to visit Dawn's dad and Jeff (yay, Jeff!) in someplace called Palo City, which I guess is near LA, but not anywhere near San Diego (Dawn totally rips on Jessi for making that mistake) and I guess not by San Fran like I first thought (I guess that's Palo Alto? Where Stanford is?) Forgive me, I have no concept of California geography. If someone would like to pay for me to take a trip out there for BSC research purposes, I'd be happy to correct myself, but for now, I'm just going to assume it's somewhere LA-ish.
And another thing, all the BSC parents are okay with this? I mean, have any of them ever even met Mr. Schafer? And I'd wager a strong bet that none of them even really know who Carol (Mr. S's new girlfriend) is. My parents certainly wouldn't let me go galivanting across the freaking country to stay with some dude they'd never met, even if he was my friend's father. And spending all their winnings on it? The same Richard Spier who in book 1 wouldn't let his daughter spend $3.00 of her baby-sitting money on pizza is letting her blow $1500 on a trip to California to visit his new wife's ex? Seriously, people? Seriously?
Misgivings aside, the BSC is in Cali. Let's see how they fare, shall we?
So in honor of today's delightful weather (almost 60 degrees! Almost May! Way to be global warming! Oh, wait. Not.)let's travel with the girls as they visit California, someplace I've, sadly, never been.
So the BSC has won 10 grand on a lottery ticket, and apparently, there are no taxes in the state of Connecticut, so that works out to $1428.57 each, according to Dawn. They have one of their never-explained random two-week breaks from school, and decide to blow their wad on a trip out to Cali to visit Dawn's dad and Jeff (yay, Jeff!) in someplace called Palo City, which I guess is near LA, but not anywhere near San Diego (Dawn totally rips on Jessi for making that mistake) and I guess not by San Fran like I first thought (I guess that's Palo Alto? Where Stanford is?) Forgive me, I have no concept of California geography. If someone would like to pay for me to take a trip out there for BSC research purposes, I'd be happy to correct myself, but for now, I'm just going to assume it's somewhere LA-ish.
And another thing, all the BSC parents are okay with this? I mean, have any of them ever even met Mr. Schafer? And I'd wager a strong bet that none of them even really know who Carol (Mr. S's new girlfriend) is. My parents certainly wouldn't let me go galivanting across the freaking country to stay with some dude they'd never met, even if he was my friend's father. And spending all their winnings on it? The same Richard Spier who in book 1 wouldn't let his daughter spend $3.00 of her baby-sitting money on pizza is letting her blow $1500 on a trip to California to visit his new wife's ex? Seriously, people? Seriously?
Misgivings aside, the BSC is in Cali. Let's see how they fare, shall we?
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Everybody in Stoneybrook has gone beauty-pageant crazy!
The Baby-sitters Club #15: Little Miss Stoneybrook... and Dawn
Aaah, pageantry. I lived for the Miss America pageant when I was little... and by little, I mean pretty much up until I was in high school and got a car. And a life. When I was five, I met Miss Michigan at the opening of a new McDonalds in my hometown. I was beyond thrilled. She signed a picture for me and everything. I probably still have it. I'm glad as a kid I didn't realize how lame this was. I mean, think about it. I thought being a Miss Something was like the epitome of a glamorous life, but really? She was cutting the ribbon outside a new fast-food restaurant in a town no one's ever heard of. The coolness factor of getting to use the enormous scissors notwithstanding, this is not exactly Grace Kelly's lifestyle.
Okay, then. Stoneybrook pageant time! Dawn is feeling jealous because Kristy created some weird cultlike induction ceremony to welcome Jessi and Mal to the club (as replacements for Stacey. Ha! As if anyone could ever replace Stacey. Especially them.) So when Mrs. Pike calls to offer Dawn a job helping Claire and Margo prepare for the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant, she jumps on it as a chance to show everyone that she is a special baby-sitter too.
Aaah, pageantry. I lived for the Miss America pageant when I was little... and by little, I mean pretty much up until I was in high school and got a car. And a life. When I was five, I met Miss Michigan at the opening of a new McDonalds in my hometown. I was beyond thrilled. She signed a picture for me and everything. I probably still have it. I'm glad as a kid I didn't realize how lame this was. I mean, think about it. I thought being a Miss Something was like the epitome of a glamorous life, but really? She was cutting the ribbon outside a new fast-food restaurant in a town no one's ever heard of. The coolness factor of getting to use the enormous scissors notwithstanding, this is not exactly Grace Kelly's lifestyle.
Okay, then. Stoneybrook pageant time! Dawn is feeling jealous because Kristy created some weird cultlike induction ceremony to welcome Jessi and Mal to the club (as replacements for Stacey. Ha! As if anyone could ever replace Stacey. Especially them.) So when Mrs. Pike calls to offer Dawn a job helping Claire and Margo prepare for the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant, she jumps on it as a chance to show everyone that she is a special baby-sitter too.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Creaky stairs, spooky noises, secret passages-- it must be a ghost!
The Baby-sitters Club #9: The Ghost at Dawn's House
I was always sort of jealous of Dawn's secret passageway. And I definitely spent many an afternoon tapping walls in my basement and shining flashlights around the garage, hoping for a secret space of my own. Of course, a large portion of that might have come from growing up with six people in a 900 square foot house. I carved a secret "cave" out of junk in the basement storage room (mainly some precariously stacked luggage and reams of half used computer paper that my dad used to bring home from work for my sister and I to color on) and spent a lot of time there wishing it were a real secret, and that my dad wouldn't come traipsing in looking for his cordless drill and that my sister wouldn't be able to find me to beg me to play "Barbie Flower Shop" with her. Dawn did not have these problems and she got a secret passageway... lucky duck.
Plot: So basically, it's the end of summer in Stoneybrook and it's really hot and humid, leading to a lot of stormy weather, setting a "spooky" stage for all the "spooky" happenings at casa O'Dawn. Dawn's house was built in 1795 and she hears strange noises and, let's face it, has something of an overactive imagination, so one dreary afternoon she invites the BSC over to look for secret passageways. They don't find anything that day, although they do have fun scaring the bejeezus out of each other (until Jeff gets them all something awesome with his green monster suit. Seriously, Jeff is the best. Why can't he stick around and we'll send stupid Karen Brewer off to California?) A few days later, Dawn goes into the barn to read and ends up sitting on the barn floor with some hay scattered around because... it's comfortable? Really, I don't get it. I had friends with barns when I was a kid and they were really fun for playing in haylofts and swinging on ropes from the rafters, but I have no idea why anyone would want to just go sit in one in stifling late August heat. But then Dawn falls through a trapdoor and ta-da! discovers her secret passageway, which she follows to her bedroom. She also finds some old detritus in the passageway, a shoe buckle and an indian head nickel. The next few times she goes back in there, with Jeff and the BSC, she finds other things. She's convinced there's a ghost.
I was always sort of jealous of Dawn's secret passageway. And I definitely spent many an afternoon tapping walls in my basement and shining flashlights around the garage, hoping for a secret space of my own. Of course, a large portion of that might have come from growing up with six people in a 900 square foot house. I carved a secret "cave" out of junk in the basement storage room (mainly some precariously stacked luggage and reams of half used computer paper that my dad used to bring home from work for my sister and I to color on) and spent a lot of time there wishing it were a real secret, and that my dad wouldn't come traipsing in looking for his cordless drill and that my sister wouldn't be able to find me to beg me to play "Barbie Flower Shop" with her. Dawn did not have these problems and she got a secret passageway... lucky duck.
Plot: So basically, it's the end of summer in Stoneybrook and it's really hot and humid, leading to a lot of stormy weather, setting a "spooky" stage for all the "spooky" happenings at casa O'Dawn. Dawn's house was built in 1795 and she hears strange noises and, let's face it, has something of an overactive imagination, so one dreary afternoon she invites the BSC over to look for secret passageways. They don't find anything that day, although they do have fun scaring the bejeezus out of each other (until Jeff gets them all something awesome with his green monster suit. Seriously, Jeff is the best. Why can't he stick around and we'll send stupid Karen Brewer off to California?) A few days later, Dawn goes into the barn to read and ends up sitting on the barn floor with some hay scattered around because... it's comfortable? Really, I don't get it. I had friends with barns when I was a kid and they were really fun for playing in haylofts and swinging on ropes from the rafters, but I have no idea why anyone would want to just go sit in one in stifling late August heat. But then Dawn falls through a trapdoor and ta-da! discovers her secret passageway, which she follows to her bedroom. She also finds some old detritus in the passageway, a shoe buckle and an indian head nickel. The next few times she goes back in there, with Jeff and the BSC, she finds other things. She's convinced there's a ghost.
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