Who needs baby-sitting when there are boys around?

The Baby-sitters Club #8: Boy-Crazy Stacey

So, when I first read this book (and don't ask why I remember this, but it was the summer after 2nd grade, I was 8 years old, and I thought I was the shiz-nit because I had gone by myself to visit my Aunt Jenni and Uncle John in Indiana) but anyway, when I first read this book, I couldn't understand the term boy-crazy, with the hyphen. I had never heard this term before, and I pondered for some time before deciding that the hyphen must work like a comma, leading the title to be something like, "Boy, Crazy Stacey" as in "Dude, Stacey is NUTS" said in a condescending tone while people shake their heads at her. Which, to be fair, could also be a fairly accurate description of the book.

Stacey and Mary Anne are mother's helpers (ahem. Excuse me, according to Stacey, they are parent's helpers, as they will be helping Mr. Pike as much as Mrs, although it doesn't really seem like either Pike parent wants to spend much time with their children on this vacation. But then, who could blame them?) for two weeks in Sea City, NJ. Mainly this involves taking the kids to the beach every day, where Stacey falls in LUV with a lifeguard named Scott, which basically means that she hangs out at the foot of the lifeguard stand all day while Scott (who is eighteen and going off to Princeton that fall, despite the fact that the Scott drawn on the book cover is clearly at least 35 years old) calls her "cutie" and "love" and asks her to fix him sandwiches and get him sodas, which she takes from the Pikes' refrigerator, which I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Pike would LUV, if they were paying any attention to their children or their 13-year-old baby-sitters.

You know who does not LUV this? Mary Anne, that's who. She's pissed because she has to do all the baby-sitting work while Stace moons over Scott night and day. MA tries to tell Stace that Scott is way too old for her, and in this case Mary Anne is right. Hey, Scott, as someone who is apparently smart enough to get into Princeton, perhaps you're familiar with a little thing that the law likes to call statutory rape? I'm all for tricking little kids into doing favors for you, and I too would love to have someone to bring me sodas that I don't have to pay for whenever I want, but the way to do that is not to tell the child how beautiful and special she is in a creepy pedophilic way! God, I had no idea how creepy this book was the first time I read it.

Finally one night the Pikes decide to actually take responsibility for their own children and they give the girls the night off. They go out to the boardwalk together even though they're kind of mad at each other and Stacey drags Mary Anne in and out of stores while she looks for a present for Scott (my favorite potential present: A t-shirt with "Stacey + Scott = LUV" screen-printed on it. Oh, Stacey.) Finally Stacey buys him a ten-dollar heart-shaped box of chocolates and emerges from the store just in time to see Scott making out with another (thankfully more age-appropriate) girl. She and MA run away, leaving the box of chocolates on a bench. Seriously, I get the Stace can't eat them, but if I were Mary Anne, I'd have grabbed those suckers before I took off.

So Stacey and Mary Anne become friends again and Stacey avoids Scott and gives her job the attention it deserves. Who's been helping MA out while Stace was off in la-la-land? Why, it was a boy mother's helper named Alex, who is also baby-sitting on the beach. And it just happens that Alex's hot and thanfully age-appropriate cousin has come to visit, and Stacey transfers all her LUV from Scott (whose last name, by the way, is Foley, just like on Felicity!) to Toby. On their final night in Sea City, Stace and MA go on a double date with Toby and Alex, then they split up into two couples and both go through the Tunnel of Luv, where Stacey gets her first real kiss. Awww, fine, I'm not made of stone, it was kind of sweet.

Some other tidbits that I simply can't ignore: Stace and MA take the Pike kids to the mini-golf course. First of all, is mini-golf that uncommon in the northeast? There were two courses just in my podunk hometown. Is that a midwest thing? Because none of these people have played mini-golf before except MA. Basically, they try to putt-putt as a group of ten, and they allow the kids to take as many tries as they need, leading to Claire and Margo regularly taking upwards of 30 strokes per hole while the line of angry people builds up behind them. What the hell kind of putt-putt course is this? Every course I've ever played very clearly states "Groups no larger than 5" and "No more than six strokes per hole." Now, clearly, when the course is empty, you can fudge that a bit and no one will mind as long as you let anyone who wants to play through do so. The girls finally think to split up into smaller groups, but they still let the kids take as many shots as they need, until Margo voluntarily caps it at 20. Why are these angry people behind them just waiting in line??? Why isn't anyone complaining to the manager? Even if they don't complain, why isn't the manager looking out his window, seeing the backup, and coming out to take care of it? This whole plotline is just irrationally annoying to me. Sorry.

And finally, a BSC scene I've always remembered, but didn't realize it was in this book. Kristy baby-sits for Karen, Andrew, and David Michael. They are going to wash Watson's old car. They are just getting started when Louie the collie gets hurt (oh, poor Louie. You're going to be dead in 3 books) and Kristy has to take care of him and try to find someone to take him to the vet. She leaves Karen and Andrew outside to wash the car themselves, and they do, with steel wool. Well, that takes the paint right off (I remember not understanding this plotline at all and having to ask Aunt Jenni what steel wool was, prompting her to ask me what on earth I was reading.) As a kid, for some reason, I thought this was hilarious. As an adult, my favorite part of this vignette is when Watson comes home and sees his car. Kristy starts trying to apologize being all "I should have been watching the kids more closely" and Watson is like "Damn straight, you should have. Even though you had an emergency with the dog, you were still in charge of the kids." Sometimes the BSC messes up, and I like when people call them on it. It doesn't happen often. Plus, I love Watson.

Final thoughts: Gosh, a trip to the Jersey shore sounds nice right now. This book has a creepier vibe than I remembered. How much do you want to bet that about 10 years later, Stacey is spending a quiet Friday night watching Dateline, and suddenly recognizes Scott being surprised by Chris Hanson on an episode of "To Catch a Predator?" I'd take those odds!