The Baby-sitters Club #48: Jessi's Wish
Okay, here it is. Another one of those "Sweet baby James, I was a weird child." confessions. I loved reading books about sick kids/teenagers. I thought Lurlene McDaniel books were amazing. Not that I ever wanted to be sick or anything (I'm not that twisted), but I did go through a brief phase of wanting to be a pediatric oncologist and cure cancer. Then I realized how much I hate a) bodily fluids and b) dead things (not like people- I don't have much experience with that! but like all the dead animals that I was supposed to dissect in 10th grade biology that I never, ever touched. My partner and I just handed our little dead creature to the guys who sat behind us and let them go to town... Not like our teacher ever even noticed-he was very rarely actually in the classroom, despite (or perhaps because of?) all the scalpels being wielded by hormonal 15 year olds.)
So I remember reading this book when I was 8 or 9 and liking it as much as I liked any BSC book. And I thought that like would carry over to my re-reading, but sadly not. As much as I truly don't mean to be a heinous bitch, this book was BORING.
Ok, so Becca is a member of the Kids-Can-Do-Anything Club at SES, composed of kids ages 8, 9, and 10 who volunteer and do service projects for the community. Ok, I can get behind that, that sounds nice. But when one of their teacher moderators decides to accompany her husband on sabbatical for a month (Who the hell goes on sabbatical for a month? Isn't it normally a year? I mean, I work at a university and as far as I know, you can't get sabbatical for less than a semester.) the other one doesn't think he can handle it by himself and they're going to have to shut the club down. But Jessi to the rescue! She volunteers to take Ms. Simon's place, and Mr. Katz thinks that would be great. Um, excuse me, but seriously, Mr. Katz? You can't handle 20 kids (aren't you a freakin' school teacher?) after school by yourself, but you can with the help of an 11 year old? Am I the only one to notice that Jessi is exactly one year older than several of the club members? Does he really think they're going to accept her as an authority figure? PUH-LEEZE.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Claudia might give up the BSC- and it's all the new girls fault!
The Baby-sitters Club #12: Claudia and the New Girl
See, I bet you all thought that I met some sort of new girl (or even better, new BOY) and was dragged away from my BSC recapping duties in order to become new best friends with this person and follow my other muse... but I didn't. And I don't really have another muse. What I do have, as I've complained about before, is a freaking job. And sometimes it really interferes with my life (oh, and grad school doesn't help much either.)
Claudia, on the other hand, does not have a job. She has her art. You know who else has art? Ashley Wyeth, the titular "New Girl." Ashley is one of those pretentious arty types that no one wants to talk to at cocktail parties, the kind who prattles on about her muse and who can't possibly see the humor in a story about someone else's annoying boss (I myself have myriad "annoying boss" cocktail party stories, and they are all hilarious. Maybe someday you all will be lucky enough to attend a cocktail party with me!) However, in this case, it sort of works, because Ashley doesn't want to talk to anyone else anyway. Except Claud.
See, I bet you all thought that I met some sort of new girl (or even better, new BOY) and was dragged away from my BSC recapping duties in order to become new best friends with this person and follow my other muse... but I didn't. And I don't really have another muse. What I do have, as I've complained about before, is a freaking job. And sometimes it really interferes with my life (oh, and grad school doesn't help much either.)
Claudia, on the other hand, does not have a job. She has her art. You know who else has art? Ashley Wyeth, the titular "New Girl." Ashley is one of those pretentious arty types that no one wants to talk to at cocktail parties, the kind who prattles on about her muse and who can't possibly see the humor in a story about someone else's annoying boss (I myself have myriad "annoying boss" cocktail party stories, and they are all hilarious. Maybe someday you all will be lucky enough to attend a cocktail party with me!) However, in this case, it sort of works, because Ashley doesn't want to talk to anyone else anyway. Except Claud.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Dawn thought she'd be baby-sitting--not monster-sitting!
The Baby-sitters Club #5: Dawn and the Impossible Three
I don't like that the title of this book implies that the Barrett kids are nightmares. They're not my favorites, by any means, but they're not terrors. Their mother is the impossible one, and I just can't stand her.
It's a fact. I really freakin' hate Mrs. Barrett. I've been straddling the fence for a while, but frankly, she just takes it over the edge. I get that divorce is hard. I get that single motherhood is not an easy thing to adapt to. But Mrs. Barrett? GROW UP. DEAL WITH YOUR LIFE. (For the record, these are the same things I tell myself when I start to have a flip-out. In fact, I should just tattoo the words "Deal with your life." on my forehead, I repeat them to myself so often.)
Okay, so Dawn is sitting alone at the Pikes for just Mal and the youngest three. Mal is a nosy parker (nose Pike-r? Ha! I pun!) and wants to know all about Dawn's "new-old" house (Mal's wordplay is not nearly as clever as mine. Ha! Take that Mal.) and her mother's relationship with Mr. Spier, which is a just a little creepy to me. But then Buddy and Suzi Barrett come over, and Suzi is crying 'cuz she skinned her knee, so Dawn has to take care of her and then Buddy and Suzi stay at the Pikes' house the rest of the afternoon. That's six kids. Why is that okay? Mrs. Pike always has two baby-sitters for more than four kids. And anyway, why should Dawn have to take care of extra kids? Send them home Dawn! You're not going to get paid any extra for watching the neighbor's kids (especially when that neighbor is the abominable Mrs. Barrett.)
I don't like that the title of this book implies that the Barrett kids are nightmares. They're not my favorites, by any means, but they're not terrors. Their mother is the impossible one, and I just can't stand her.
It's a fact. I really freakin' hate Mrs. Barrett. I've been straddling the fence for a while, but frankly, she just takes it over the edge. I get that divorce is hard. I get that single motherhood is not an easy thing to adapt to. But Mrs. Barrett? GROW UP. DEAL WITH YOUR LIFE. (For the record, these are the same things I tell myself when I start to have a flip-out. In fact, I should just tattoo the words "Deal with your life." on my forehead, I repeat them to myself so often.)
Okay, so Dawn is sitting alone at the Pikes for just Mal and the youngest three. Mal is a nosy parker (nose Pike-r? Ha! I pun!) and wants to know all about Dawn's "new-old" house (Mal's wordplay is not nearly as clever as mine. Ha! Take that Mal.) and her mother's relationship with Mr. Spier, which is a just a little creepy to me. But then Buddy and Suzi Barrett come over, and Suzi is crying 'cuz she skinned her knee, so Dawn has to take care of her and then Buddy and Suzi stay at the Pikes' house the rest of the afternoon. That's six kids. Why is that okay? Mrs. Pike always has two baby-sitters for more than four kids. And anyway, why should Dawn have to take care of extra kids? Send them home Dawn! You're not going to get paid any extra for watching the neighbor's kids (especially when that neighbor is the abominable Mrs. Barrett.)
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Dawn is falling for a California boy!
The Baby-sitters Club #37: Dawn and the Older Boy
Oh, Dawn. Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn. What are we going to do with you? Was I this clueless about guys when I was 13? Answer: Probably, but I must have hidden it better. At least, I hope I did.
So I endured multiple issues with this book, not least of which was the fact that I chose it because I was sure it was the one where Dawn starts trying to make herself over as a "wild child" and one of the things she does is put half her hair in little tiny braids before she went to bed one night and then the next morning she took them out so that half her hair was way frizzy and half of it was straight, and then she goes to school and talks back to the teacher, and informs us that sometimes, you have to take a bad grade in exchange for being cool. Of all the lessons I could have chosen to take from the BSC, that is the one that has stuck with me most vividly. Also, I totally tried to do that to my hair one morning, but my mother freaked out and made me wash my hair before she let me go to school. Unfortunately, none of that awesomeness took place in this book, damn it. Someday, somehow, I will find that scene and relive it. And it will be glorious.
But anyway, back to this book...
The BSC is slumber partying at Kristy's when they decide to go downstairs to breakfast the next morning in pajamas looking like death warmed over, because apparently they all fell asleep while doing makeovers and not a single one of them was smart enough to wash her stupid face? What about brushing their teeth? I mean, they were pigging out at that slumber party and if they all fell asleep without washing their faces, I think we can assume they didn't brush their teeth, and EEEW. Also, Claudia, sleeping with make-up on? Good luck keeping that perfect complexion your friends are always raving about in Chapter 2 of every single book. And Mal, maybe this behavior is part of why you have zits? Maybe stop complaining and instead break out the Neutrogena, hmmm?
Oh, Dawn. Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn, Dawn. What are we going to do with you? Was I this clueless about guys when I was 13? Answer: Probably, but I must have hidden it better. At least, I hope I did.
So I endured multiple issues with this book, not least of which was the fact that I chose it because I was sure it was the one where Dawn starts trying to make herself over as a "wild child" and one of the things she does is put half her hair in little tiny braids before she went to bed one night and then the next morning she took them out so that half her hair was way frizzy and half of it was straight, and then she goes to school and talks back to the teacher, and informs us that sometimes, you have to take a bad grade in exchange for being cool. Of all the lessons I could have chosen to take from the BSC, that is the one that has stuck with me most vividly. Also, I totally tried to do that to my hair one morning, but my mother freaked out and made me wash my hair before she let me go to school. Unfortunately, none of that awesomeness took place in this book, damn it. Someday, somehow, I will find that scene and relive it. And it will be glorious.
But anyway, back to this book...
The BSC is slumber partying at Kristy's when they decide to go downstairs to breakfast the next morning in pajamas looking like death warmed over, because apparently they all fell asleep while doing makeovers and not a single one of them was smart enough to wash her stupid face? What about brushing their teeth? I mean, they were pigging out at that slumber party and if they all fell asleep without washing their faces, I think we can assume they didn't brush their teeth, and EEEW. Also, Claudia, sleeping with make-up on? Good luck keeping that perfect complexion your friends are always raving about in Chapter 2 of every single book. And Mal, maybe this behavior is part of why you have zits? Maybe stop complaining and instead break out the Neutrogena, hmmm?
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Two weeks of sun, fun--and boys galore!
The Baby-sitters Club #34: Mary Anne and Too Many Boys
Happy birthday, Ann M. Martin! If we were really friends, I would throw you a slumber party in my stepfather's mansion. We would order pizza and give each other makeovers and discuss our crushes on boys like Bruce Schermerhorn and Pete Black, and how immature Alan Gray is. We would gossip about Cokie Mason and Shawna Riverson and discuss our forthcoming trip to the mall where we would get our ears pierced and our hair permed (well, Stacey would.) We would spread our sleeping bags out in a circle with our heads in the middle and be wary in case any of our brothers tried to play tricks on us. We'd giggle at Dawn for preferring Tofutti to actual birthday cake (Sacrilege!) It would be super-fun! Someday, mmmkay? Call me!
So in one of those weird, don't think too hard about it or your brain will explode time warps so common in BSC-land, Mary Anne and Stacey have re-signed up to be mother's helpers for the annual Pike family Sea City summer vacation. Despite Mallory being a baby-sitter now, the Pikes still elect to pay for two extra sitters in an effort to let Mal "enjoy her vacation." Whatever. Are the Pikes made of money? I guess if they want to waste it on baby-sitters, that's their business. But it would it kill them to spend ten minutes of their alleged "family vacation" with their damn kids?
Happy birthday, Ann M. Martin! If we were really friends, I would throw you a slumber party in my stepfather's mansion. We would order pizza and give each other makeovers and discuss our crushes on boys like Bruce Schermerhorn and Pete Black, and how immature Alan Gray is. We would gossip about Cokie Mason and Shawna Riverson and discuss our forthcoming trip to the mall where we would get our ears pierced and our hair permed (well, Stacey would.) We would spread our sleeping bags out in a circle with our heads in the middle and be wary in case any of our brothers tried to play tricks on us. We'd giggle at Dawn for preferring Tofutti to actual birthday cake (Sacrilege!) It would be super-fun! Someday, mmmkay? Call me!
So in one of those weird, don't think too hard about it or your brain will explode time warps so common in BSC-land, Mary Anne and Stacey have re-signed up to be mother's helpers for the annual Pike family Sea City summer vacation. Despite Mallory being a baby-sitter now, the Pikes still elect to pay for two extra sitters in an effort to let Mal "enjoy her vacation." Whatever. Are the Pikes made of money? I guess if they want to waste it on baby-sitters, that's their business. But it would it kill them to spend ten minutes of their alleged "family vacation" with their damn kids?
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