How could Mallory ever get tired of baby-sitting?

The Baby-sitters Club #47: Mallory on Strike

Oh yes, poor, sad, put-upon Mallory. I'm pretty sure I tried to pull this strike BS when I was a kid and my dad was all "Bee-otch, please. You go on strike, I go on strike. And if I go on strike, you lose food and shelter. Shut up and do your chores." Well, I might be paraphrasing, as my upstanding, conservative, Trip-Man-ish father has never, to my knowledge, used the word "Bee-otch" in his life... but it was implied.

So SMS is hosting a "Young Authors Day" featuring a writing competition and Mal wants to win "Best overall fiction" in the sixth grade. Ok, FINE. That is totally something I would have wanted to do, too. She only has a couple of weeks to write her story (which is going to be about a girl named Tess (why do people always name their characters "Tess"? Has anyone ever even met a "Tess" in real life? I haven't.) who feels taken for granted in her family. Geez, Mal, you're really taking that whole "write what you know" adage to heart. I sincerely hope Tess is not as annoying as you though), so she knows she'll need to really work hard.


Unfortunately, her family does not see it that way. As soon as she gets home, she is called upon to break up fights, care for Claire and Margo, and help with dinner. What I don't understand is why all of these things are mutually exclusive (or really, what about these requests is so outrageous. I had to do these things, and I only had 3 siblings.) For starters, why is Mal breaking up fights between the triplets? I've said it before and I'll say it again, there is no f-in way the triplets are going to give 2 shits about Mal as an authority figure. Claire? Maybe. The boys? Oh hells no. Second of all, why does Mal have to entertain Claire and Margo? I can understand her needing to be responsible for their safety if Mrs. P is busy or out, but they're old enough to entertain themselves, especially since Mal is not being paid. She doesn't have to make them multiple PBJ sandwiches for their dolls at a tea party, not even for their lunch. She doesn't have to play games or indulge their every whim. Why not just tell them to sit quietly and watch TV while Mal does her homework? And same thing with cooking. Seriously, Mal. Making cookie batter takes 10 minutes. Then put them in the oven and do your homework at the kitchen table. I understand your frustration, but you bring most of it on yourself.

In other news, Mal tries to quit the BSC because she doesn't think she has time to take on baby-sitting jobs and write her story and help out at home. Didn't we just go through this with Claudia? For some reason, the BSC does not jump for joy at the prospect of getting rid of Mallory, the way I did. They suggest she take a two-week hiatus until after Young Authors Day and then re-evaluate. Which, duh, Mal, is the obvious suggestion anyway.

So rather than talking to her parents about any of this, she wakes up one morning and decides that she is simply not going to take it anymore, fashioning a sandwich board for herself which reads "Mallory on Strike." And in the time it took her to do that, she could have freaking gotten some homework done. Oh, Mal. Her parents, rather than kicking her to the curb like I would, indulge this ridiculousness and inform everyone that they are NOT to disturb Mal at all today. Frankly, I feel the most sorry for Vanessa in this scenario... she's denied access to her bedroom because Mal has a hissy-fit? I shared a bedroom with my little sister, who was a lot more annoying than V. and my parents NEVER let me do this. Of course, my parents, you know, PARENTED, unlike the Pikes, who prefer to just unleash 8 holy terrors on the world without any guidance whatsoever.

Mr. and Mrs. Pike get called to an emergency library board meeting that afternoon (while I appreciate the continuity of Mrs. Pike's involvement in the library (it's mentioned in several books), this seems patently absurd to me. Do libraries really have emergency board meetings in the middle of Saturday afternoon? Why? What can't wait until business hours on Monday? Mary Anne is worried that something terrible happened to the library, but Mr. Pike is like "no, it didn't burn down or anything. We think this emergency is financial." to which I say "whatever.") But since poor, precious Mallory is "on strike" they call Mary Anne and Dawn to baby-sit. When Mary Anne goes upstairs to say hi to Mal, Mal almost bites her head off and then feels guilty that her parents had to hire MA and Dawn. But when they get home she finally, finally sits down to talk with them about how put-upon she feels and for some reason, rather than enumerate all the things (food, shelter, clothing, them not hitting her) that she gets in exchange for helping out around the house, they decide that she deserves a special "Mallory Day" all to herself and also that if she really needs time to herself,she should talk to them and they will help her arrange it. Whatever. She's a whiner.

So the next day is Mal-Day, and the Pike Parents take Mal and Jessi to the mall where they act like idiots, in that peculiar way that teenage girls are wont to do (Ok, fine, yes, I did things like this too. Like making fun of the crazy skateboard demonstration or going into the Hot Topic-ish store and asking to try on steel-toed hooker boots.) But Mal feels bad because her siblings aren't there, so she decides to plan a surprise for them. I decide I do not care at all.

Young Authors Day comes and is apparently well attended, to which I say, bullshit. No one comes to these things on a Saturday! Certainly not every kid in school and all their families. Whatever. Mal freaks out. Then she wins. Then she doesn't believe it. Then she beams. As a fellow author I should be happy for her, but as a human being who has to listen to her, I still hate her.

Then Pike kid day comes. Mal and Jessi lead her siblings all around the neighborhood and take them on a treasure hunt in the playground, and it's cute, but again I have to say the triplets are way, way too old for this. So is Vanessa, really. I know it's the BSC but we could try for at least some tiny semblance of realism, no?

Eh. Mallory. You can feel free to go on strike anytime you want. Just don't expect me to give a crap.