Mary Anne has a crush-- on a boy baby-sitter!

The Baby-sitters Club #10: Logan Likes Mary Anne!

Eh, Logan. You could do better.

Well, it's the first day of the BSC's interminable 8th grade year and guess who Mary Anne spies across the crowded cafeteria? None other than her new celebrity crush, Cam Geary. Except, wait!, Stacey tells her, that's not Cam Geary. That's Logan Bruno, recnet transplant from Louisville, Kentucky (that would be Loovull, as we are treated to some delightful stereotyping of Logan's accent.) MA's heart is all aflutter.

The BSC has a huge influx of business thanks to some recent adertising, and it's getting to be too much for them to handle. Logan eavesdrops on their convo at lunch one day, and announces that he used to do a lot of baby-sitting. Mostly, this seems like a ploy to be able to oome sit by the tongue-tied Mary Anne. The BSC invites him to come to one of their meetings.

This is going to be one long night!

The Baby-sitters Club #44: Dawn and the Big Sleepover

Oh, I used to love having pen pals. They were like the blogs of my youth. If I could go back and read all the tortured heartache I poured out to other girls in far off exotic places like, well, New Jersey... I'm sure I'd just be humiliated at what a loser I was back then. I must have run through at least 10 pen pals in my youth, acquired through school projects, summer camp bonding, and the back of this creepy Catholic kids magazine my grandma used to give us. None of them ever really stuck, but I still have most of their letters. I just wish I had mine too, because I have a feeling the back and forth would be pretty hysterical to read now.

Well, Stoneybrook Elementary has paired up with a school on a Zuni reservation in New Mexico, and I'm slightly embarassed to admit that I had to Google it, but yes, that is a real tribe. I wonder how they feel about being used as a fundraising object by a bunch of snotty East Coast kids? Anyway, SES and this Zuni elementary are sister schools, which mainly seems to involve having the kids write letters back and forth. All the SES kids love it, which, I totally understand because it is super-fun to get notes from other people, even when you are old and live far from all your friends and family and check your Facebook page 27 times a day for comments that never seem to come not that I know anyone who does that.

Ahem. Moving on...

They wish they all could be...

The Baby-sitters Club Super Special #5: California Girls!

So in honor of today's delightful weather (almost 60 degrees! Almost May! Way to be global warming! Oh, wait. Not.)let's travel with the girls as they visit California, someplace I've, sadly, never been.

So the BSC has won 10 grand on a lottery ticket, and apparently, there are no taxes in the state of Connecticut, so that works out to $1428.57 each, according to Dawn. They have one of their never-explained random two-week breaks from school, and decide to blow their wad on a trip out to Cali to visit Dawn's dad and Jeff (yay, Jeff!) in someplace called Palo City, which I guess is near LA, but not anywhere near San Diego (Dawn totally rips on Jessi for making that mistake) and I guess not by San Fran like I first thought (I guess that's Palo Alto? Where Stanford is?) Forgive me, I have no concept of California geography. If someone would like to pay for me to take a trip out there for BSC research purposes, I'd be happy to correct myself, but for now, I'm just going to assume it's somewhere LA-ish.

And another thing, all the BSC parents are okay with this? I mean, have any of them ever even met Mr. Schafer? And I'd wager a strong bet that none of them even really know who Carol (Mr. S's new girlfriend) is. My parents certainly wouldn't let me go galivanting across the freaking country to stay with some dude they'd never met, even if he was my friend's father. And spending all their winnings on it? The same Richard Spier who in book 1 wouldn't let his daughter spend $3.00 of her baby-sitting money on pizza is letting her blow $1500 on a trip to California to visit his new wife's ex? Seriously, people? Seriously?

Misgivings aside, the BSC is in Cali. Let's see how they fare, shall we?

Four friends and baby-sitting-- what could be more fun?

The Baby-sitters Club #1: Kristy's Great Idea

Ready, kids? This is the one that started it all. There's only one word for it: CLASSIC.

The original Fab Four are just beginning their seventh grade year. One evening, Kristy's mom brings home a pizza because she has to ask a favor of her older kids: David Michael's baby-sitter has canceled and she needs someone to watch him after school the next day. Charlie, Sam, and Kristy are all busy. Poor Mrs. Thomas has to let her pizza get cold while she calls everyone in the neighborhood looking for a sitter. It takes, what, five minutes to eat a slice of pizza? Why couldn't she eat and then call? I highly doubt that if she doesn't call RIGHT NOW she's going to miss out on the last available sitter in Stoneybrook. But let's overlook that, because it brings the world KRISTY'S GREAT IDEA.

Make one call, reach a whole bunch of sitters! Genius in its simplicity. So Kristy flashes her idea to Mary Anne through the window that night (MA is not allowed to talk on the phone at this point. I never really understood this. What is so bad about talking on the phone? I mean, especially if she's done her homework and everything? What does Mr. Spier think she should be doing with her time? It must have been awfully boring to be Mary Anne.) Anyway, MA loves the idea, so they bring it up with Claudia the next day as well. Claud also loves it, and suggests one more member, her new friend from New York, your favorite and mine, Stacey McGill. They decide to meet MWF from 5:30 to 6 in Claud's room, since she has her own phone number and they choose officer positions: KT is the prez, obvi, Claud is her Veep, MA gets to be secretary, and Stace, the alleged math whiz is the treasurer. Throw in some advertising and we're off and running!

The Arnold twins aren't just bad--they're double trouble!

The Baby-sitters Club #21: Mallory and the Trouble with Twins

Oh, I so wanted to be a twin when I was a kid. But now that I look back on it, I would have been a horrible twin. I don't share well. I'm kind of a self-centered bitch and I'm definitely an attention whore (but a lovable one!) To this day, I hate being given the same present as my sister, who's only three years younger than me (yes, I'm also an ungrateful bitch. I am infamous in my family for being unable to keep disgust and disappointment off my face on Christmas morning.) That said, while I understand and sympathize with the twins' desire for individuality, I pretty much hate everyone in this book. The twins are just annoying, their mother is a wanna-be Mrs. Prezzioso with none of Mrs. P's charm, and of course, there's my old nemesis, Mallory Pike. We all knew that sooner or later I'd have to write about Mal, but in the interest of not repeating myself, I'll try to keep my loathing mostly to myself.

Okay, so Mal gets a regular sitting job for the Arnold twins, Marilyn and Carolyn. Right away, I hate their parents. So the twins are nice enough at first, but then Mal has to go and be all "Oh, aren't you two just the cutest little things! You look exactly the same and it's so darling, blah, blah, blah" which of course the twins don't want to hear, because what 8-year-old does, twins or not? I mean, I went through a phase for about 4 years where I yelled at anyone who called me cute. I did not want to be cute, I wanted to be cool. DUH, Mal. So the twins take off their name bracelets (again, I hate their parents) and proceed to talk in their own language and completely disregard any and all instructions Mal attempts to impose. They are annoying, but since it's Mallory they are harassing, I am slightly more inclined to be on their side. If it were my beloved Stacey they were harassing, I'd kick their asses from here to next Thursday. But then, it wouldn't have taken Stacey the entire stupid book to figure out how to deal with them.

Claudia thought she'd never have to say good-bye.

The Baby-sitters Club #26: Claudia and the Sad Good-bye

Now this is why I read these books. Brava, Ann M. Martin, brava. No, people, I'm being totally serious. I knew right from the start that I would like this one. I remember thinking it was so sad when I read it as a kid (I might even have cried. And as you've probably guessed, I am not a crier. I'm a judger, and judgers can't be criers.) And that was even before I went through the harrowing experience of losing my own beloved grandfather in a very similar way. I was Janine's age and my sister was Claudia's age when it happened (My brothers do not fit into my analogy, so we will conveniently forget them for the moment.) Much like Mimi, we knew my DziaDzia was sick with cancer, but no one expected that when he went to the hospital that Monday morning, he would be gone by Tuesday afternoon. At least, if they did expect it, no one ever told us kids. I felt blindsided and betrayed, and reading about Claudia brought it all vividly back, because Claudia (and Janine's) responses are pitch-perfect. This is exactly how kids in this situation react, and I know, because I lived it.

Okay, so backing up and stepping away from my personal drama for the moment, we all remember that Mimi had a stroke during the summer after Claud's seventh grade year. Since then, she's been fine, but definitely not great. She's regained some mobility and speech functions, enough that she is able to talk with Claud and have special tea, and cook dinner, which I'm not sure is the best idea, but... You know what? Forgive me, but I'm finding it really hard to snark on this plotline, so just for this book, I'm going to just go ahead and tell it like it is. We'll return to your regularly scheduled judgemental and slightly mocking tone for the next report.

Babies on board!

The Baby-sitters Club #45: Kristy and the Baby Parade

Oh, I totally remembered this book as soon as I started reading it. Why, you ask? Because when I was eleven, I too took one of those Red Cross-sponsored baby-sitting courses like the "infant care course" the girls took. It was a one-day course in the summer at the local community center. And I too thought that it made me the shiz-nit. I liked to tell people that I was a Red Cross-certified baby-sitter, and I carried the little card with the Red Cross lady's signature on it everywhere I went, in case anyone wanted me to prove it. However, pretty much all I remember from the actual class is the pizza we ordered for lunch.

So the Baby-sitters are baby-crazy these days. Mrs. Prezzioso wants a sitter to watch Jenny and four-month-old Andrea on a regular basis, but she wants that person to take an infant care course first. I have to say, if I were really uncertain about whether or not someone were capable of caring for my baby, her attendance at one of those Red Cross seminars would not particularly sway me. But apparently, Mrs. P does not share my concerns, and so Kristy takes the job and signs up for the course. Then, the rest of the BSC decides that they want to attend, too. After all, according to Claudia, then maybe they can advertise themselves as "infant care specialists." Um, after a few hours in the basement of the community center? In that case, my baby-sitting class plus my day camp counselor training ought to make me Exalted High Queen Baby-sitter over All the Universe. I wonder how that would look on my resume.

When is Mary Anne's bad luck going to end?

The Baby-sitters Club #17: Mary Anne's Bad-Luck Mystery

I don't really get Halloween. I mean, I enjoy a good masquerade ball as much as the next girl (actually, I've never been to a masquerade ball, but I have no doubt that I would enjoy it very much, should I ever achieve my dream of travelling back to 1868 and actually getting to attend one.) And of course, I like candy far more than I probably should. What don't I like? Any day that exhorts the vast majority of the world's children to act even more like spoiled, entitled little brats than they normally do any day of the week. Any day where I am encouraged, nay, expected to dress up like Donatella Versace and squeeze into a subway car shared with a gorilla, 6 women wearing pointy black hats, and a fat guy in an orange sweatsuit who I think is supposed to be a pumpkin, but might just be a fat guy with very little fashion sense. Any day where the grocery store cashier ringing up my loaf of bread and 12-pack of Diet Coke is likely to be wearing any of the above costumes. Halloween is when the freaks come out. And I have very little patience with freaks.

But here we have arrived at a BSC Halloween, no doubt the first of many in their never-ending 8th grade year (actually, I can't think of any others at this moment, but given that they went to SMS for, like, 15 years, I'd say it's probably a pretty safe bet they celebrated other Halloweens!) Mary Anne receives a chain letter saying she and her family and friends will have bad luck if she breaks the chain. Jessi and Mal are terrified, but no one else really gives a shit. Mary Anne throws the letter away.

Everybody in Stoneybrook has gone beauty-pageant crazy!

The Baby-sitters Club #15: Little Miss Stoneybrook... and Dawn

Aaah, pageantry. I lived for the Miss America pageant when I was little... and by little, I mean pretty much up until I was in high school and got a car. And a life. When I was five, I met Miss Michigan at the opening of a new McDonalds in my hometown. I was beyond thrilled. She signed a picture for me and everything. I probably still have it. I'm glad as a kid I didn't realize how lame this was. I mean, think about it. I thought being a Miss Something was like the epitome of a glamorous life, but really? She was cutting the ribbon outside a new fast-food restaurant in a town no one's ever heard of. The coolness factor of getting to use the enormous scissors notwithstanding, this is not exactly Grace Kelly's lifestyle.

Okay, then. Stoneybrook pageant time! Dawn is feeling jealous because Kristy created some weird cultlike induction ceremony to welcome Jessi and Mal to the club (as replacements for Stacey. Ha! As if anyone could ever replace Stacey. Especially them.) So when Mrs. Pike calls to offer Dawn a job helping Claire and Margo prepare for the Little Miss Stoneybrook pageant, she jumps on it as a chance to show everyone that she is a special baby-sitter too.